Dear Friends,
A few weeks ago, November 11-15, I had the opportunity to travel to Dallas for an event called Exploration 2009. Exploration is a conference for young people who are “exploring” a call to ministry. The event was very large; there were about 1000 people, half of whom were students ages 17-25 who spent the weekend discerning God’s call in their life. I was invited by the General Board of Higher Education and Ministry to attend the conference, and I was responsible for leading a small group through their discernment process and helping to facilitate a breakout class called “Seminary 101.”
I was extremely excited to attend Exploration 2009 because it brought back so many memories. At the last Exploration, which was held in 2006, I FINALLY accepted my call into ordained ministry. I had been wavering, running, avoiding, and doing all I could to pretend that I wanted to serve the church in another way. For some reason, feelings of fear, shame, and guilt came upon me every time i thought about becoming a pastor. I was afraid that I could not be a “good” pastor. I was ashamed of my past mistakes; how could I stand in front of people as their spiritual leader when my own spirituality wasn’t perfect? I felt guilty because I was “sure” that being a pastor would mean that I would have to sacrifice time with my family.
I came to Exploration in 2006 with these concerns weighing heavily upon my soul. Exploration gave me the opportunity to really meditate on what God was asking me to do. I spent a lot of time in prayer, speaking to God and listening to silence. Throughout that weekend I began to feel more and more at peace with my concerns. Through prayer, speaking with other clergy about my concerns, prover, attending workshops like Seminary 101, and prayer (in case you haven’t noticed prayer is really important), I finally was able to Let go and Let God; I accepted my call.
There are times in our lives when we may feel a calling, a deep yearning to do something. When faced with these decisions we tend to rely on our “logic,” or popular opinion to decide what to do. My experience has taught me that the best thing to do when faced with these feelings is to take them to God in prayer. And I mean take them often — morning, noon, and night. And then listen. Listen to your heart, listen to the people who you consider to be wise, listen to what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell you. Listen, and don’t be afraid if you hear something like “Hey, you are called to be a pastor” or “you should volunteer at camp” or “you should help single parents.” Don’t be afraid because, as the Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:13, you can do all things through Him who strengthens you. All you have to do is Let go and Let God.
Peace, Christopher Carter
